Welcome to the Vanderstank Family

The Vanderstank Family of Universal Cosmic Knowledge is an artistic collective and esoteric research group devoted to achieving Enlightenment through a wide variety of unusual means. We specialize in profundity development, soul tightening and stellarization aids, and general arborealizing. People of all ages, nationalities, and beliefs have come together to collectively benefit from our discoveries.

To this end, we have lovingly crafted a unique self-sustaining ecosystem comprising our own in-house software, lifestyle regimen, outdoor retreat, education system, cryptocurrency, music, literature, and more to craft the perfect life around the Church of Vanderstank's teachings.

Perfect Self We strive to achieve the Perfect Self through the VanderSelf lifestyle and the Church of Vanderstank's teachings

Perfect Technology We have crafted a network of Perfect Technology to aid in Enlightenment, based on the VanderstankOS operating system

Perfect Society We have designed the Perfect Society: a Family with a loving heart, a clean rank structure, and a self-contained Vandercoin-based economy.

Ascension The inherent end of the Perfect Self is Ascension


Broaden your mind and enrich your life with teachings of universal cosmic knowledge honed by centuries of Vanderstank research—from the practical applications of the Polylateral Time System to our ever-evolving understanding of the mystic Five-Sided Cube. From the smallest daily rituals to the cutting-edge neurological treatments available to senior members, we have your life upgrades covered from beginning to end.


From our unique self-sustaining Vandercoin-based economy, to our homegrown cloud-based VanderstankOS computer system and its secure isolated parallel internet, to our 100% carbon-neutral Vanderfield retreat and campground, members thrive in our unique self-contained, self-sustaining ecosystem.


Since birth, you've been saddled with a biological family you didn't choose, and struggled to find true friendship in a complex social world. Welcome to your new Family—one where you can share traditions, rituals, secrets, and more. The First Family of the New Age.

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Learn how VanderstankOS has grown beyond its origins as a secure communication and research organization tool and become a fully-fledged replacement for Mac and Windows, complete with public and private filesystems, countless games and apps designed by innovative Members, and hundreds of curious features and easter eggs that make it 130% more interesting than its competitors. It's so flexible and lightweight it can even be run inside your browser.

Launch VanderstankOS in your browser

Vanderstank Church


Perhaps the greatest and most infamous of the Family's many web projects, Vanderstank.church is a stunning, fully interactive 3D replica of the fabled Church of Vanderstank and its many attached regions. The site launched in 2014 with the initial floorplan of six floors of six rooms each, but has grown exponentially since then as our developers work tirelessly to replicate recent visions and dreams reported by senior Members and Church Leaders. Now boasting over 200 rooms in total, the Church can now be an all-day exploration and meditation experience.

Go to Church


The Vanderfield

Not content with online-only membership experience, a senior member in Arizona helped launch the Family's first and largest real-world experience—the Vanderfield, a green, off-the-grid, self-sustaining commune that operates on and off throughout the year and provides countless opportunities for real-world research projects, safe psychedelic experiences, and humane ways for wayward or indebted Members to work off their debts. As our fifth season winds down, the Vanderfield is now accepting applications from Family Members of all ranks with a Family Reputation of Exquisite or higher as we prepare for the 2025 season.

Learn more about the Vanderfield



The Family's dream of creating a fair, honest, no-nonsense, corruption-free society was finalized with the introduction of Vandercoin, the Family's unique and fully centralized cryptocurrency. Issued by and accepted by the Family alone, and backed up by tangible shares of Thought Power within the Church, Vandercoin's unique codebase makes it the only cryptocurrency that can be officially repaid through ritual ceremonies, and the only cryptocurrency whose value can be expressed as a fraction of itself.

Learn more about Vandercoin

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