Welcome to the Family Marketplace, the first and only official marketplace by and for Vanderstank Family Members using the Vandercoin cryptocurrency. Here you can list items for sale and purchase items listed by other Family Members, as well as official clothing and literature sold by the Church.
Church of Vanderstank Tickets
Church tickets purchased here are neither required nor even accepted at the Church of Vanderstank, but you may purchase them nevertheless.
G Corridor
A FICTIONAL novel about the childhood of V0111 Celia Cave. The story is FICTIONAL.
$7.99 USD
Intercontinental Shirt
Confuse your friends so hard they become Enlightened with the Intercontinental Rectilinear Beholden shirt.
$15.59 USD
Church Logo unisex tee
The sacred symbol of the Church of Vanderstank. Available in 5 colors.
$15.59 USD
"Join the Family" unisex tee
Our first shirt available to the public. All profits to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital.
$15.59 USD
Indulgence
One indulgence for one sin.
The Family Knows All stickers
A rectangular sticker that summarizes our cause: Caroline is God, the Church is upside-down, Celia was not murdered, join the Family that knows all.
Intercontinental Leggings
Confuse your friends even more by wearing the Intercontinental Rectilinear Beholden design on your legs and ass.
$32.99 USD
New Book of Vanderstank
A modern introduction to the history and traditions of the Vanderstank Family.
Personalized Guided Meditation clip
sold by V0604
I will record for you a directional, informational, possibly satirical, audio clip altered to the highest heavens with my bloftware. it will relax the inner folds of your mind brain. (bowel effect not guaranteed)
A Pep-talk from Phelix
sold by V0002
Are you feeling down? Need a pick-me-up to get yourself going to better yourself. Click here and then message V0002 over Discord.
"Join the Family" Cloth Facemask
A quality cloth facemask with a lovely invitation to join the family. $1 USD from every sale goes to No Kid Hungry.
$7.59 USD
Old Book of Vanderstank
The ancient texts from which the Church draws its ineffable wisdom.
Waffles and Dice Box
Back by popular demand, the Waffles and Dice Box. They go together like Caroline and chalk.
Blessed Location Sticker
Small, triangular "This location blessed by the Church of Vanderstank" stickers.
Church Ticket unisex tee
Show off your admission ticket to the Church of Vanderstank. Leave comments for customization.
$15.59 USD
Leslie Rotor Speechtank
A custom-built Leslie Rotor Speechtank with 360 degree audience pod rotation for use in large Family rituals.
Starform 1 oz.
A 1 fl. oz. jar (29.6 mL) of ritual-ready Starform incl. saffron scooper. Made with organic honey, organic illicium verum, and Church-approved Ingredient 3.
Vanity mirror
sold by V1149
Reflects your image, with consent(warning! Will also reflect without consent, it is not alive)