“Welckome” to Blackjabble.

But be warned. The dealer is fucking angry.

He is angry because, in his words, you “incarcerated” his car. You parked in a spot that was technically an available spot, but because your spot and his were both in the far corner of the lot, and are at right angles to each other, there is no room for him to pull his 2008 Buick Enclave out of its spot if someone also parks in the spot you parked in. While the fault technically lies with the designer of the parking lot, who failed to foresee this inherent design flaw, I think you will agree the dealer has every right to be mad. Now let’s hear what the dealer has to say:

OK, it’s basically like blackjack but more. You see some of my tiles but not all, and you have to see if you can beat that without going over. But also see if you can get 20 consonants without getting 5 vowels. No, 5 vowels without hitting 20 consonants, then I’ll let you off the hook for incarcerating my damn car. I mean without hitting 20 tiles total. I think. Yes. But 20 tiles without getting 5 vowels and I’ll shoot you right here and now. M’kay? Asshole.

Uh

Your score:

Dealer’s score:

Let us hear what the dealer has to say:

Can you please just move your fucking car. You literally incarcerated my car dude.

Flabby Domp

A Game of Bravery

You are "Flabby" Domp Briff, a hard-working 18th century oat miner from Calcutta.

You’re on your way home from the oat mines late one Friday night, on your way to The Container Store where you’re picking up a small container for your ailing aunt, notorious mass-murderer the Hon. Rev. Dr. Aunt Agatha Christie (no relation to the author)...

...when suddenly you come across some Stanklings that are threatening to ruin your day! Those nasty little gray balls of filth are threatening to eat your leg down to the bone if you don’t act fast!

Avoid the Stanklings at all cost while picking up your prescription, and for bonus points, try to drop as many doors as possible!

The Hon. Rev. Dr. Aunt Agatha Christie is counting on you!

Game Over

Thanks for playing Flabby Domp

©2020 Vanderstank Family of Universal Cosmic Knowledge in partnership with the Chumbles Game Manufacturing Corporation and CLASCO, Ltd. This game and the artificial intelligence engine that powers it are the sole intellectual property of the Vanderstank Family of Universal Cosmic Knowledge, and any unauthorized reproduction is punishable by hanging

Timeframe: Day Year

Polygon: 3 4 5 6 20

It is currently day of the year, minute of the day. The current energy levels are:

Today	Right now

Vanderthanks to Family Member V0718, who helped discover the trigonometric representation:

where n is the number of sides in the n-gon you are studying, and x is the number of days through the year, or hours through the day. This wave, wrapped into a circle after n cycles for any given n-gon, give us the polygonal patterns we know and love. Whoa!

Scripture Reference: Book of Tools, Chapter 2

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime, doubly so." — Douglas Adams

0 viruses found

0 curses lifted

0 spite packets evaporated

Ready for exfoliation - Begin

My son’s at the doctor. I think it’s because of those dang vapes.

Anyway, the ball don’t always do what y’expect, and yer paddle size might change. That’s life, kid.

Yer paddle’s on the right. It’ll follow yer mouse, or yer cute lil finger if you got one a them smertphones.

I hope my son ain’t popcorn lung

Absurdity: 0

FUCK!

Your score:

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